The Brother of James Ossuary?

Well, not really… Actually, according to the producers of Jesus Family Tomb, the ossuary of Jesus, son of Joseph has been found. I’m in the throes of thesis writing, so I can’t do any research on the topic now. In the meantime, be sure to keep an eye on Ben Witherington’s and Scot McKnight’s blogs for reasoned interactions with these “new” findings:

James’ Burial Box An Alien Ossuary!

Apparently this is old news (2002), but I finally uncovered the real secret of the James Ossuary. According to the esteemed Russian newspaper, ПРАВДА* (PRAVDA), the James Ossuary was crafted from an unknown substance by aliens in the first century. The article reports that Andre Lemer** “himself” asserts:

Hundreds of such coffins have been found in Jerusalem during archeological excavations. The research has showed that they were made in the first century A.D. That is why, the first thought that I had in my head when I saw Jacob’s coffin was there is something wrong with it. The stone differed from all other stones that I saw before. It had very small pores that could hardly be seen. At the same time, it was incredibly solid. After the tests that we conducted in the lab, I can assure you that our planet does not know this material.

The article goes on to quote the esteemed Dmitry Astrakhanstev of the Ufology and Anomoly Center:

Observations and research show that aliens were involved in a lot of things that were happening during biblical times. For example, the birth of Jesus Christ. How can this be explained, the immaculate conception? There is even a hypothesis that says that Mary and Joseph were warned about the birth of their son Jesus. They were informed by aliens – they were thought of as angels, so to speak.

This must be true. At least as true as the assertion that James the Just had dreadlocks! Read the whole article on PRAVDA’s English website.

Be sure to read the following related articles in the publication whose name means “Truth”!

*I put the Cyrillic here only because I want to show off that I took Russian in high school. Of course I only remember how to say “I don’t know”, “I don’t understand” and a few other choice phrases.

**Apparently, a trustworthy source for this article misspelled the French scholar’s name, André Lemaire. Perhaps “Lemer” simply reflects an English phonetic spelling of the Russian phonetic spelling of Lemaire. . . Or does it?